Jeffrey R. Holland BYU Devotional "How Do I Love Thee"

"There are many qualities you'll want to look for in a serious date - to say nothing of a spouse and eternal companion - but among the most basic qualities are those of care and sensitivity toward others, and a minimum of self-certeredness that allows courtesy to be evident. True love blooms when we care more about the other person than we care about ourselves. 

Love is a fragile thing...much damage can be done if we are not in tender caring hands. No serious courtship, engagement, or marriage is worth the name if we do not trust ourselves totally to the one we love...

Being married for nearly 37 years I know much better now how to help Sister Holland and I also know exactly what will hurt her. Surely God will hold me accountable for any pain I cause her by intentionally exploiting or hurting her. To impair her in any way for my gain or vanity or emotional mastery should disqualify me on the spot to be her husband.

In a dating and courtship relationship, I would not have you spend five minutes with someonen who belittles you, who is constantly critical of you, who is cruel at your expense and may even call it humor. Life is tough enough without having the person who is supposed to love you, leading the assult on your self-esteem, your sene of dignity, your confidence, and your joy. In this person's care you deserve to feel physically safe and emotionally secure.